Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Scared little boy

Well, I found out today just how scared Simon is. I took Seth and Simon to get their blood drawn this afternoon. Seth needed to get checked for lead poisoning because we live in an older home. I insisted that he didn't chew on the walls but they like to be sure. I love how doctors always intervene for our benefit.... I digress.

Simon didn't want to have his blood drawn at all. I am used to him bulking at things he doesn't want to do but seeing as I am mommy he usually does what I want him to do anyway. He was so afraid that he wanted his baby brother to go first. I told him Seth would cry because he is little and doesn't understand. Surprise, Seth cried. Once I got up (I had Seth on my lap) Simon had vanished. He ran into the bathroom to hide. He refused to get in the chair. I tried to talk him into it again. (Really no one wants to get their blood drawn, right?) We had talked in the car about how it is a poke but it wouldn't even hurt as bad as getting an IV. He would not do it. He didn't want to sit on my lap either. I finally had to drag him out of the corner he crawled into, pry his hands off the chair, and hold him while they did it. Mind you I had to hand Seth who was crying to Hannah. It was a horrible experience to say the least. I am utterly at a lose here. How in the world are we going to handle further MRI's and serious surgery?! I tried talking to him on the way how about how I know he is scared but you can be brave at the same time. I hate holding my kid down. I don't know if he even felt his blood being drawn he was so hysterical....

I just had to share my joyous adventure on this beautiful and warm spring like day.


woman at the well said...

Ellen, I just don't know what to say about Simon. Surely there are nurses who routinely deal with children who face this sort of ordeal. Although this isn't an oncology situation, an oncology nurse would definately know what to do. See if someone at Children's can help you or at the doctor's office. I wish I had tips for you - I've just never been in this situation. My initial sense is to limit his contact with doctors and nurses to the bare minimum to limit the trauma.

Samantha said...

Ditto- there must be someone at the hospital or elsewhere who, sadly, hsa to deal with this practically daily. Children's Hospitals tend to be wonderful at putting kids' fears at ease.

Give him our love!

Scylla said...

Oh honey it sounds awful.

I would suggest a few things. One, have him talk to as many people who have had this kind of stuff done as possible. I would be happy to talk to him about all the neurological testing I have undergone. Also, I would see if there are support groups of other children who have or are going through this.

Lastly, you might want to see about getting him a therapist. It is traumatic for many adults to go through surgery, and at times, speaking to someone with training can help us understand why we are feeling the way we are.

Unfortunately, it may ultimately come down to having to force your kid to do this, in which case I offer you as many hugs and kleenex as I can offer, and all my love.

scarletfire said...

sending you a cyber hug from denver...your bravery amazes me. XO

ellen said...

Thank you everyone. I actually know someone (Dan's adopted Uncle Donny) who has gone through this exact surgery! He offered to talk to Simon about it and I am going to have Simon call him this week. Simon and I talked more about it and he cried while he told me about how it scares him to hear us talk about the surgery. I don't want to lie to him but at the same time, what can he handle at 6?

Daniel unfortunately has a lot of experience with being in the hospital as a kid so he is going to spend time talking with him about all of it. What Dan told me is that once he's done these things a few times it will get easier. Great. Hopefully, we won't have to do this very much!

I think a therapist might be helpful. I will see if the hospital has someone for him to talk too. They do deal with these things frequently.

Daniel said...

He and I had a long talk about what to expect at the hospital; I'm not sure it helped a lot, but I think that it comforted him and that it will continue to with a few more repetitions. But the sad fact is that this is really too big for him to process. We're trying to be as open and honest with him as we possibly can, but that's something that will be a benefit to him later on. It'll help him put this into context when he's a teenager, but no amount of talking is going to make a 6-year-old understand why his genes made it so that his brain doesn't fit right into his head. All he really understands is that this is sufficiently bad that every adult that he is exposed to is totally freaked out.

Right now the most effective thing I've found to do is to cuddle him up in my lap and tell him over and over that I love him and that all of this is going to be ok. That gets him to calm down, stop crying, and start just being Simon again.